April 30, 2012

My love,
Waiting does funny things to a person. Some days it makes you feel that if you have to wait another minute for that which you desire, you could very easily implode. Other days, it makes you feel strong and confident. Like turning around mid-trip to look at the thousand miles you've come, while remembering the beginning when you were sure you couldn't take the first step. We'll continue to wait for and travel toward you, I promise.
The side effects of waiting have been on my mind today because the day has finally come to see if the medicine your father's been taking has worked. His tests were today, but we won't actually get the results until May 8. So we wait some more, all the while the results have already been observed, recorded and filed away for the doctors' perusal.
This doesn't bother me nearly as much as it used to. So I guess you could say I'm having a strong day. I learned the hard way that many times, even though you can easily get test results over the phone, you don't get the context (or reassuring words) unless it comes from a doctor. This doesn't mean I'm not tempted to jump the gun. It just means I'll find a way to keep my mind occupied until I no longer have to. It reminds me a bit of finals back in college. You do all you can do to prepare leading up to the test, then you give it to the universe to do with it what it may.
I imagine you're a lot like me- a worrier and a planner. I so, I hope we've taken steps to help you cope with this. Heaven knows I could have used some help earlier than I got it. But if you're not, don't worry. Life can be hard enough without beating yourself up over things you can't control.
I'm off to make dinner. Take care.

Love,
Me