Monday, August 13, 2012

August 13, 2012

My love,

We've decided to have the NT scan done tomorrow. There was a lot of back and forth debating (mostly in my head) and I talked to a variety of people, but ultimately it was your Aunt Sabrina that helped me decide. She's a special ed teacher and said that from an educator's perspective, if something were to go wrong, then knowing this early would give us an advantage to get tapped into support networks.

About half the people I talked to said that they didn't do the NT scan because it wouldn't change anything and they wouldn't abort no matter what the results were. It seems to me that that's a rather grim way to look at things. I don't see the test as being at a crossroads to terminate or not to terminate. I want to have the scan done because I want to check in with The Bug. I want to know that all is developing the way it's supposed to. Maybe that makes me a control freak or overly sensitive. Whatever. I'm your mom. This shouldn't surprise you.

I also decided that there are going to be a lot of things about parenthood that are going to scare the crap out of your father and I, and if we start cowering now, it's going to eat us up before we know what hit us. So we're going into this full steam. Well, I'm going into it full steam, I think your father's along for a ride on the crazy train. :)

Well, I've felt a little yucky all day and I'm going to try to get to bed a little earlier. I hope wherever you are, you're happy, healthy and warm. Take care. I love you.


Tuesday, August 7, 2012

August 7, 2012

My love,
So much to tell! I'm sucking at this journaling thing lately. Everything's just been so hectic!
First off, we had another great appointment the day after my last entry. The Bug's heartbeat was 178 and everything looked great. So great, in fact, that we graduated from our RE's office and moved on to my regular OB. It makes me nervous to be just another pregnant lady, but ultimately it's a good thing.
I've gone off the progesterone and estrogen, with my last day being last Saturday. I was nervous about this, too. In the back of my mind, I thought the progesterone was keeping me pregnant. I've had a few mild cramps and headaches since Sunday, but it's been 72 hours since my last dose and I think I'm doing okay!
This weekend, we get to tell your Aunt Sabrina and the rest of your dad's family about The Bug. But I have to wait and tell my side of the extended family for another two weeks when I go to Michigan. I really can't wait for all of this to be out in the open. But by the same token, I'm not sure how I handle being the center of attention. Can't have it both ways, though. :)
Right now, we're trying to decide whether or not to do the NT (nuchal translucency) scan. This routine ultrasound would give us a heads if the Bug has any major birth defects. The reason your father and I are debating is due to my anxiety. We're afraid if there's a) anything wrong or b) we get a false positive, that I'll obsess over it for the rest of the pregnancy. Not sure what's going to happen. If we do decide to do it, I'll have another pic to show off for the next entry.
Well, I should be off to bed. My pregnancy books tell me I need more sleep, but I haven't been able to adhere to that too well. Especially since I'm up 1-2 times a night to pee. Sleep and I have a love/hate relationship right now. Hopefully that will get better as time goes on.

Take care and I love you.