Tuesday, March 12, 2013

March 1, 2013

My love,

I'm currently laying in a hospital bed in labor. I will update with your birth story later, but your dad and I are just so excited to meet you!


Monday, February 25, 2013

February 25, 2013

My love,

You're late, you're late, for a very important date! By about four days at this point. You were due on 2/21, and here we are on 2/25 with no signs of labor. I know that you're happy and healthy in there, and that makes it a bit easier, but not by much. I also know it's common for first time moms to go over their due dates, but silly me thought I would be exempt. Haha!

I've been through so many emotions on this topic over the last couple of weeks. I started my maternity leave two weeks before my due date so I could relax before you got here and everything went crazy. Now I find myself trying to escape boredom. We have an induction scheduled for 3/3 if you're not already here, but I'd really prefer to not have to go that route as inductions tend to carry a higher risk of ending in a C-section.

I told your father that as long as you're okay, I don't mind being pregnant another week, but the truth is that every day that goes by, I have a stronger and stronger need to hold you. A stronger need to see and kiss your pretty face and tickle your little feet. Once you're here, life will never be the same. It's going to be loud, crazy, sleep-deprived, scary and expensive; I know all of this. But I have this feeling that it's going to be wonderful also.

I can't help it. I'm so anxious to meet you. Don't make us wait too long, okay?


Tuesday, February 12, 2013

February 12, 2013

My love,

Well, you were a pretty good baby for the majority of your time in utero, but you had a few surprises in store for us here at the end. You were head down and in perfect position at 36 weeks - right on track. Then, by 37 weeks, you had flipped yourself to a sideways position, or what's called transverse. My doctor suspected you might be this way after doing a routine cervical check, so she ordered an ultrasound. A couple of days later, your wonky position was confirmed. The cool thing, though, is that because of this ultrasound, we got to see your pretty little face. We didn't get a picture, but from what I remember, you have a chubby face, my dad's nose and my lips. We'll see how accurate it was soon. :)

So, the transverse thing turned out to be a bigger complication than we initially thought. My doctor called me the Wednesday after the ultrasound saying that she was referring me to an OB to discuss our options for the safest delivery. The OB we saw told us that we could either 1) Schedule a C-section right off the bat, 2) Try an ECV (external cephalic version, or manually turning you from the outside), or 3) Wait and see, hoping you would turn on your own before labor, but risk a dangerous cord prolapse. We opted for door number 2 and scheduled it for Saturday morning. The scary thing about the ECV is that it carries a small risk of a pinched cord or other complications leading to an emergency C-section. Basically, your dad and I had to mentally prepare ourselves that you could be born that weekend, at 38+2.

We showed up to the hospital and were surprised to find that the procedure would be done in a labor and delivery room. Suddenly things got real. First thing, they had to do an ultrasound to confirm you were still transverse. This ultrasound showed that sometime in the previous 36 hours, you had righted yourself and were, in fact, head down again. No need for the version! Your father was relieved, but I was actually interested to see how it was going to go. At any rate, they kept me hooked up to the monitors for a couple of hours while I had a few contractions, and they sent us home. Overall, an interesting day.

So far, you've stayed head down, but I'm still not dilating. I have no idea what this means for when you'll be born, but I certainly feel like a jack-in-the-box. Not to mention, people have already started asking when you'll be here. I've decided to ignore them. You'll come when you're ready. Just promise me you won't make me wait too long?


Wednesday, January 30, 2013

January 30, 2013

My love,

I'll be 37 weeks pregnant tomorrow and it's so surreal. There were days I never thought we'd get here, and it feels like only yesterday that we were nervously waiting for our 7-week ultrasound when we saw your little heartbeat for the first time. But now, I'm sitting in the beautiful nursery we've built for you and I know you'll be here soon. I honestly can't wait to meet you! It overwhelms me sometimes when I think about it, so I try to let it come to me in small chunks throughout the day.

Before I got pregnant with you, I swore to myself I was going to do everything right. I was going to do prenatal yoga and water aerobics. I was going to cut all processed food, sugar, artificial sugar, caffeine and alcohol (the last two I really did cut.) In reality, I'm way too uncoordinated for yoga now and can barely cross my legs, let alone do downward facing dog. After buying a maternity swimsuit at a deep discount, I've been to the pool exactly once, and honestly didn't find it all that soothing. And while my diet has been about 75% angel throughout my pregnancy, I've had a few sweet tooth days and I do love mac 'n cheese.

I guess my point is that you should strive to be the best you can be, but don't insist on perfection. It's humanly impossible to achieve perfection consistently. Anyone who tries to tell you different, is either selling you something or wants you to believe they won the Tour de France seven times in a row without doping.

In other news, I had a check up today and while your heartbeat and measurements are good, the doctor can't confirm that you're head down at this point. This means we get another ultrasound on Friday. I'm so excited to see you again and I know it will get me through the next few weeks until I get to see you in person. I'll check back in after that appointment.

Well, I should be toddling off to bed; my feet and ankles are the size of ham hocks, so I should probably get them elevated. Here's a great picture from our maternity shoot with Aunt Sabrina on Saturday.


Thursday, December 27, 2012

December 27, 2012

My love,

So much to tell that's happened in the last two and a half months! I'll give you the highlights first.

1. The world didn't end.
     Yeah, yeah, I know this was never an actual possibility, but it was certainly in the back of my mind for a   while.

2. I had my baby shower.
     Your aunts, Natalie and Sabrina threw it for me and it was wonderful to feel so loved! They chose a Love Bug theme and incorporated your father's automotive hobbies. You got so many presents and A TON of clothes. One thing's for sure, you are one very loved little girl. :)

3. I was blessed with Christmas spirit this year.
     Normally I hate Christmas. I mean, I detest it. This year, I couldn't help myself. I .put up a mini tree, sent out Christmas cards and decorated the front of the house. The only difference this year is you. The only explanation I have for this change of spirit is that you're actually an elf. We'll see.

4. I'm very noticeably pregnant.
     I've gained about 24 lbs and everyone agrees that I'm all belly. I have to admit, I like it. It's hard to watch your body take on a new shape, but it's made easier when the majority of your figure stays relatively the same.

I feel you move every day and it's truly my favorite thing. You kick less than you used to. Now it's mostly stretching and rolling. Tonight I was reading Alice in Wonderland to you and you went crazy. I think you like the sound of when your daddy and I talk to you.

I'm feeling quite well for 32 weeks; just a little tired as I haven't really slept much lately. I have to sleep on my side and usually wake up with sore hips and pelvis because of it. My pelvic bone is also starting to hurt because it's separating and making room for you. It's weird for your father and I to think that you'll join our family in just eight weeks.

I'm sad to admit that I still have lingering anxiety about your safety. I love you so much and don't want anything to hurt you, especially when we're so close! I feel that I prepared myself pretty well for pregnancy and not too many things have come as a shock. But the one thing I wasn't expecting was to feel so close to you, but so far away. I can't see, hold or comfort you and right now that's all I want. Oh well, soon enough.

Well, I must get ready for bed; it's getting quite late. I love you and am so looking forward to meeting you, my baby bug.


Friday, October 12, 2012

Quick love note

My love,
You're such a good baby. You've always been so cooperative during our doctor's appointments. And there have been a few times lately that I've worried when I haven't felt you kick for a while. I just say a silent plea to you to show me you're okay and you always kick me nice and hard.
On another note, there's been a lot of national attention being paid to a little girl named Jessica Ridgeway. She was a 10-year Westminster girl who disappeared on her way to school last Friday morning. There was a nationwide search for her and this afternoon, the Arvada police announced that her body was found in a park very close to your cousins' house. I've heard about so many abductions in my life, but this one has really affected me. It probably has a lot to do with you. I wish I could keep you safe in my belly forever so no one will ever hurt you. I guess this is what they mean when they say that having a child means putting legs on your heart and letting it walk around outside your body. I think I'll start building your bubble now.


Wednesday, October 10, 2012

October 10, 2012

My love,
What a month it's been! I fully intended to update you following our elective gender ultrasound, but didn't (obviously.) I make no excuses for myself. I'm an adult. With a job. And I'm easily distracted when I get home. So there.
We had an amazing time at the ultrasound! While we were enjoying all the wiggling, kicking and waving, we found out that you're a girl. This was confirmed about two and a half weeks later at our 20-week ultrasound. Everything looked perfect - your spine, your brain, your kidneys, your heart and your limbs among other things. Of course, I cry at every. single. ultrasound. I just love seeing you. Makes me wish I had x-ray vision.  If I could, I would probably pay $100 every week just to check in with you. But I'll just settle for the photos and DVD we have of you.
I'm still feeling pretty good, relatively speaking. At 21 weeks, my back and hips are starting to hurt. I'm not sure if this is pregnancy-related or just regular wear and tear on my muscles and joints. My belly is getting big and I have to admit, I love it. I used to spend so many mornings in front of the mirror pushing my belly out trying to get a preview of what it would look like someday. It's just as cool as I ever hoped it would be. :)
Your dad and I have started on your room. He's so sweet. While your grandparents and I were in Estes Park, he went and bought all the supplies to start your room. He wanted to get everything done in 24 hours to surprise me when I got back. Then he got paged for work and wasn't able to do anything. It didn't matter. I was so impressed by the initiative.
One thing I don't think I've told you yet is that your Aunt Natalie is also pregnant. She's about three weeks ahead of me and is having a little boy. Unlike me, she wasn't expecting to start her family just yet. I think she's going to be a wonderful mom, but I'm concerned about how all the stress in her life is affecting her happiness. But that's another story for another time.
Well, I should start to head toward bed. I'm pretty exhausted half the time anymore. I love you and I'm so looking forward to meeting you.


P.S. By the way, here's my new favorite picture of you. I can't help it; you're beautiful.