Monday, July 16, 2012

July 16, 2012

My love,

Two weeks ago we saw and heard the most beautiful little heartbeat - 6w 5d and 121 bpm. The ultrasound tech and nurse seemed pleased and said everything looked great! I cried through the entire thing; I was so nervous and relieved. Now tomorrow we're going to do it all again at our 9 week ultrasound. Again, I'm pretty nervous that there's going to be nothing there. I wish I could shake this and just enjoy this exciting time. But I can't seem to truly let myself enjoy something that I'm not 100% sure is permanent. I don't mean to sound morbid, but I guess I'm just wired that way.

My symptoms have subsided and then increased slightly over the last two weeks. Still no throwing up, but the main ones are still sore boobs, occasional cramping, more tired, and more mood swings. I think my Google-itis has gone down a bit, too, which I find comforting.

I'm not sure why I wait until the night before a nerve racking day to update this journal. Maybe it's my way of prolonging my procrastination, or maybe I'm trying to boost my happiness for a few hours before my worry sets in. Either way, I'm going to stick with this as long as I can. And maybe when I have more energy, I can go more in depth about the cool things that I've experienced through this pregnancy.

One tidbit: We've nicknamed our baby "The Bug." That way, if I ever do get sick, in order to avoid suspicion, I can just tell people I've got a little bug. :) Here's a picture from our first ultrasound. I hope to have another one tomorrow.


Sunday, July 1, 2012

July 1, 2012

My love,

Today I'm 6w 4d pregnant and I'm feeling better about it every day. I've had a lot of emotional ups and downs in the last 3 weeks and I'm afraid your dad has been pulled right into it with me. He's a good sport, though. We have our 7 week ultrasound on Tuesday, when we're hoping to see and hear a heartbeat. We've decided that because of my history of anxiety and the fact that having no one but you and him to talk to about this, that once we see a healthy heartbeat, we're going to tell our parents, and swear them to secrecy until we get closer to the safe zone. My brain is a little all over the place right now, so I'm going to end with my current pregnancy symptoms.

REALLY sore and growing boobs
Occasional uterine cramping (more so in the first couple of weeks)
Peeing all the time
Slight nausea when I'm hungry
Crying over the smallest things
A little more tired than usual (though I have a hard time slowing down)